Empathy, is the essence of love. A lack of empathy, results in books like Stremcha's having to be written.
I am drawing my breath, deeply and slowly...
There is so much to be said about abuse in whatever form(s) it takes and wherever and whenever it happens, that unless people educate themselves and gain knowledge of this form of evil power and control, we will never be able to even slow this epidemic down. Abuse happens in the home, workplace, schools and even churches. It is high time we take a stand against the perpetrators who could care less whose lives they alter, damage or permanently change.
This book is very well written. I found it hard to put down. Stremcha tells her story well with very few bits of repetition. It is poignant and intriguing. Bravery, Bullies & Blowhards is a book that draws the reader, keeps one interested and plays on every human emotion we were created to have.
I myself, can relate well to this book, having had my own bullies and abusers in my lifetime. I recommend reading this book, to all who desire to see what happens when people who are bullies, abusers and narcissists who crave power and control, end up in positions of power and leadership and how able they are to bring unrelenting destruction to the lives of not just a few.
When I read Stremcha's words of deep brokenness, depression and despair, the only thing I could think was, "Well congratulations boys! You almost broke her...almost...but not quite". The resolve of Stremcha, while being faced with the heinous abuse of the school system she diligently worked for, is applaudable. Her ability to regain her strength and live to write about it, is worthy of a standing ovation.
TRAUMA. The past always affects the present. I will say it again and again. Educating ourselves on the topic of abuse is vital to being able to rightfully handle situations like Stremcha's. If anyone at all in that district had an ounce of training, they might have recognized the "triggers" that Stremcha was facing in dealing with this case from the very beginning.
Trauma literally cuts pathways in our brains and when an event happens that "triggers" that past trauma, the brain is wired to go straight to the ruts cut by the past trauma. Our response to the current trauma is based on the old trauma. I saw this happening in the first chapter of her book! It is unfortunate that no one was educated or seemed to care nor take the time to ask Stremcha why she felt so much trauma. In fact, the people in this book seemed to somehow enjoy watching Stremcha grope in her own trauma, while they willfully inflicted more upon her.
A team of scandalous men and a few vindictive women, can make for a mean story. But this is not just a mean story or a story about mean men and their flying monkeys. No, this is about full-blown abusive tactics operating in the workplace, in a small-town school system, nonetheless.
The one, most disturbing theme I found in Stremcha's book, was the eerily similar bureaucratic relationship between a school district and its administration, and the inexcusable abuse women are facing in their local churches. Stremcha's story could be told by many women who have tried to leave their abusive marriages, while the church they are in, try to force them to stay and when they won't, begin a full force witch hunt - just like the witch hunt perpetrated against Stremcha - and excommunicate the victims of abuse. There should never be this kind of similarity, but it was barking at me through her entire book.
This story is true. It happened in my hometown where I grew up. My disappointment has never been so severe for this peaceful, wonderful little place. It's not the town itself, but the people who live there, who appear to have sat silent while one of my former classmate's wives was bludgeoned to near emotional and psychological death by a band of posses, from what seems "the Wild West". The silence from a community that should have banded together in support of Stremcha, left her to nearly singlehandedly address the abuse she was enduring and find resolve to try to save her job and her mind. I am filled with disgust. I know this community and the people who live there, or at least I thought I did. But the truth is, I know a lot of very, very good people in this little town, who probably would have quickly stepped up, had they not been left in the dark or also been intimidated and fearful of the bureaucratic power that hovered over Stremcha. You see, the power an abusive entity holds over people is extreme. Abusers can silence anyone. They have the ability to make people retract when they should step up. They hold inept power for isolating and alienating their victims. Abusers know they hold this power and they wield it like a shiny sword. The group of flying monkeys revolving around in this particular school system, puts the wicked witch to shame. The gaslighting is as if they were professionally trained in it. The slow methodical "plink, plink, plink" of water dripping is a trademark of bullies and abusers. The slower the attack, the better. It brings them greater pleasure to watch their victims sweat and fall apart, day by day. The intimidation is that of a trained attack dog. The desire to protect the good from the pervading evil, isn't lacking...there is just not even a hint of it anywhere.
The blame shifting and later on the abusers playing the victim role, are all typical of what abusers do. They shift and shade, hide and lie, twist and turn and suddenly they are a victim of the one they have been victimizing.
There seems to be no thought from the establishment, about how their bad behavior was affecting the lives of the students either. These are the very ones they were supposed to be thinking about, teaching and helping. It sounds like a circus run amuck. The ape has gone mad and everyone is in danger!
The price for this kind of evil is always high. One of the very worst events in all of this is what happened to the kids. Some were either left lacking in skills they should have been taught, forced to take steps backwards, left undisciplined and encouraged to keep moving the wrong direction in life, or used as pawns in the "Let's get Stremcha" game. But one thing is for sure. They paid. The kids always pay. But people who bully, abuse and are narcissistic, just don't care. It will always be about their image before anything or anyone else.
I truly hope that all involved in the attempts to destroy this woman's career and life, will step forward and admit now, what they had done, how wrong it all was and be truly sorry for it. But as is the case with nearly 100% of abuse cases, they can never admit nor own what they have done. What a loss, what a travesty. Only one question lingers. Who will hold people like these people, accountable?
I highly recommend this book to victims of abuse everywhere. With a little insight, education and knowledge about human behavior, this book can be a good work to help educate the human race on what not to do when an abuser tries to make you his or her flying monkey! The lesson to be learned and implemented is, that if a community comes and stands together for what is right and just, it can change so many lives...for the better. That didn't seem to happen here, but that doesn't mean empathetic, educated people can't make it happen in the future.
Run forward, Lorna. Just.keep.moving.
All my best to the Stremcha family-
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